Sometimes I realize just how fucked up and distorted my body image is. I was in a store grabbing clothes, because I’ve realized just how old most of the things I own are. So I was grabbing size 6 and size 8, because they looked right. They were huge. Come to find out, I am a size 0. Not even a 2, a 0. I know most of that is to do with the fact that I am petite, not skinny. It is still amazing that I can feel so huge and unhappy all the time. Its almost disgusting. Maybe I just need someione to tell me I’m beautiful but I can’t wait around for someone to say it, let alone think it. So now, for this moment, I am going to tell myself.
I feel kind of beautiful.
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I know the feeling. I think most of us get severely disgusted with our bodies and it's sad. Only some of us are sometimes able to put on a different lens and see the truth and love ourselves. I remember having that same epiphany and it was really surreal feeling. It was so crazy to understand how differently I could see myself. Regardless it's just as easy to wear the hypocritical lens and forget all about said epiphanies. There definitely should have been someone telling you you're beautiful…