So my father was driving me absolutely insane these past few week with his incessant nagging. Then, this morning at work I was talking it out with my boss (as we venusians do).
Then suddenly I realized that my dad just needed some serious attention. I thought the fact that he has a new girlfriend would make him happy. However, he isn’t working right now, and she is. He probably stays at home all day thinking about her. The sexual frustration is clearly driving him bat-shit crazy. So he nit-picks at little things, like me leaving a single glass out. When I’m really frustrated, I usually do the same things.
Speaking of which, my bedroom is immaculate.
I also think that I have been having a crisis of my own. I’m completely ready to be independent, financially and emotionally. Though I feel an obligation to stay home until I’m done with school. I hate feeling like I rely on my dad. I try to contribute what I can but there is really on excuse for me not to contribute further. I also have a very strong need to have my own space. My brother is gone, and his bedroom is abandoned save for his remaining junk. I could easilly turn it into a living space for myself.
So after I had my epiphany I called my dad and told him to come into the bakery for some breakfast. He likes to flirt(innocently) with my coworkers and eat a croissant, it’s the best way to put him in a good mood.
So I sat him down and I asked him to just listen to me for a bit. I told him how I had noticed that he was acting very strangely and that all the fuss could not possibly have been about dishes. I reassured him that he is still my dad, and he still plays a role in my life, but I also need to prove myself more. I told him I realized he really needs some attention. I also know how my dad is a total momma’s boy. After my mom died, I spent a while sort of playing house with him. I was cooking and cleaning and trying to just keep him together. At some point I realized I had been ignoring my own need to mourn and I just gave up. My dad can’t function without a woman helping him someway, that’s just how he is. I proposed the idea of planning a weekly dinner night for the two of us, where I would cook him a nice dinner and we would sit down and enjoy it. I also proposed the idea of paying some rent in order to lessen his financial burden.
My dad was so happy. I was actually surprised how well it went. I think the idea of a serious home-cooked meal is what did most of it. Food=Happy. He actually didn’t really care about paying rent but I agreed to take over all my school expenses(books, gas for my commute) and car insurance, etc. So I feel responsible, and understanding.
He loved the idea of weekly dinner, and it will be an open table to invite in friends or anyone who wants to join in. Hopefully we can get my brother to show up sometime.
He also gave me the ok to take over Nick’s room if Nick says it’s ok. It’s a project I’m definitely excitied about. I called Nick and he was too stoned to give me a real answer which is indescribably annoying but I guess I will just have to be patient and spend my time really planning so I can turn it into a really great space for myself.
I know that I seemingly got the short end of the stick by agreeing to domestic duties and paying rent but I’m actually really happy. I love my life.