I have always been prone to jealousy, but this is something I have worked on a lot since beginning my year of happy. I must say I am doing quite well thus far. Maybe I am just feeling better about myself and realizing how lucky I am. Maybe I just trust people more.
Though one thing as of late has been plaguing me, and it has to do with ATCB. I know this is going to sound kind of ridiculous but: I have become a bit jealous of his relationship with his sister.
Whoa, let me clarify. I am not jealous of his sister. I am jealous of how ridiculously functional they are. It’s just not fair.
When I first heard about how well they got along, I was apprehensive to believe it. No one I know gets along with their siblings that well, no one. Though when I met his sister I finally understood it.
She is super adorable, she is nice to him, and-wait for it- she works in a chocolate factory.
I know, she is every girl’s dream sister.
I don’t think he realizes but I really enjoy watching them co-exist and living vicariously through him. When he comes home they actually talk to each other. Not yell, not mutter passive aggressively, they talk. They even listen to some of the same music. He shares all of his fancy music and television gadgets with her! WHAT?! When someone owns something nice in my house we hide it; and check for fingerprints each time we use it.
To think, having a sibling where the threat of an eventual beating isn’t constantly looming over your head. To not be afraid they are going to steal your things and sell them for drug money. To not have to worry about them so much you start have a breakdown at work. I bet his family has never had to have an intervention, or bail anyone out. So adorable.
They look so cute next to each other. She is just a bit shorter than him. I love watching them dance around to kitchen, popping up on their toes to grab things from high in the cabinets. It looks almost choreographed.
The other week ATCB was running all over the kitchen cooking dinner. I was sitting on the couch in their kitchen(yes, there is a couch in their kitchen) pretending to read. ATCB is doing his “I’m cooking dinner” dance across the counter. He slides dramatically from the stove to the refrigerator to grab butter (mmm…) and throws some into the pan. He occasionally stops to think out loud about what steps he is going to do next. He likes to coordinate his timing perfectly. When he chops vegetables he can usually feel me watching his fingers slide precariously close to the blade, and he lets me show him how to slice.
So he is standing at the stove and his sister bobs her way in, peering into his pan,
So he tells her about dinner, and she compliments the plan. She doesn’t criticize any of his choices, she doesn’t guilt him into cooking for her. She just dances off to the fridge to find something to make herself. I peer over the book balanced on my knees with a ridiculous grin on my face. I take deep breaths of the kitchen air as it fills with the scent of dinner and not a hint of passive aggression. It’s so pleasant.
So she decides to make herself tortellini. For some reason, I find this option to be adorable, but at that point I was just hopelessly smitten watching them together. She gets a bit dismayed when she realizes that the tortellini she had purchased contains ricotta. She shares her brothers disdain for fresh Italian cheeses. They mourn this discovery together, and once she has been sufficiently comforted by him she decides to go ahead with her dinner plan.
At this point I can feel just how ridiculous the grin on my face is. ATCB turns around and I try as hard as I can to peel it off my face, but I can’t. When he questions my unnerving amount of joy I explain that I am just really excited for dinner.
At work, the girls and I constantly lament our relationships with our siblings. Sweet Pea’s sister (a.k.a. the destroyer of taco night) seems to just want and want and take advantage of Sweet Pea’s-well-sweetness. Another girl’s sister only talks to her when she wants something, and has had her share of substance problems. My sister occasionally beats me with a shovel. We bond over these issues.
In my head I imagine taking the work girls for a night at ATCB’s apartment. We could sit on the kitchen couch with popcorn and just watch them co-exist healthily.
Though mostly it just makes me happy, I have my moments where I become a bit jealous and angry. It just doesn’t seem fair. I realize they have their fights but I don’t want to hear about it. I just want to maintain the image in my head of them being the happiest siblings in the world.
So. Fucking. Cute.