“Mamihlapinatapai: A look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start.”
Now that I am actually feeling better I think my brain is so excited to be functioning that I can’t stop thinking and its becoming overwhelming. I feel like I drank 20 cups of coffee.
I don’t know if I am the only one who does this but I think I have started to look at my life, the people around me, and myself as part of a story.
I expect people to reach a climax, have an epiphany, and grow or change.
I view rain as baptismal.
I feel love should never be too easy for fear of boredom, or too hard for fear of the story getting old.
I think villains will be punished. Eventually.
I imagine the one I’m falling for is sitting somewhere, perfectly lit, in the quiet scene I set for them when I am away. In my mind they wait for a movement in the plot, reflecting on everything that happened thus far. They drink coffee. They busy themselves. Their emotions slowly acquire a dramatic-almost feverish-flair.
I hint at things in conversation to foreshadow my future plans, and shed light on some of my fears.
Sometimes I personify the divine(the light, the sound, the universe, etc.) and view it as a reader.
Maybe I am crazy, maybe I am brainwashed by literature and film. It keeps my days interesting. It makes the mundane seem important. It’s just my usual habit for daydreaming taking on a new form.
I realized today on my drive to school that the couch has left the realm of being a practical object and become a metaphor.for my deep rooted need for security, my desire to prove my worth and maturity, and my need to express my creative side.
I looked at couches with ATCB. If I was a character, would that represent my character becoming more comfortable or more insecure? We weren’t looking together in any sort of way, he was just accompanying me. Maybe he is a foil. Maybe I am a foil.
We had dramatically different preferences in cloth options. Mine are more flamboyant and “retro” in an affected,borderline-obnoxous, though appropriately “quirky” way. His choices are more earthy, dark, textured, and modern American. Interesting.
It’s just a couch.
But, this leads me to some questions for you:
If you were the main character in a book
1. What would be your fatal flaw?
2. What journey are you on? What is your motivation?
3. What is your biggest conflict?
4. Who are your most important supporting characters?
5. What is a recurring symbol in your life?
6. Is there an antagonist?
7. Who is telling your story?
“You may feel as though the most important people in your life don’t really get how hard you’ve worked to achieve a certain special moment. Something you’ve wanted and worked for over a very long time has come to fruition, or is in the process of doing so. Yet those closest to you may not fully realize just how big a moment this is in your life. You’ve been much, much closer to this dream, and you probably have a much broader understanding of just how complicated it is. Give your loved ones the benefit of the doubt. As things start to unfold, they’ll begin to “get it.”
When I woke up today everything you never managed to do, and everything you never said didn’t bother me anymore.
I feel fantastic.