So…If I succeed in my January third resolutions I think I am going to reward myself with a professional pin-up photo shoot. One of my favorite photographers is opening an office in Boston in the spring. She specializes in doing pin-up makeovers. It’s on.
- From January third until July 4th eat 1200 calories a day. This should afford me a healthy weight loss of 1lb. per week. Days I am allowed to break this rule are as follows:
- Valentine’s Day
- Karen’s Birthday
- Nicole’s Birthday
- Jen’s Birthday
- If I go on vacation.
- Save $1000 each month in my ING account. This is an aggressive goal but one I think I can handle, especially once I am working full time again. I may edit this goal if it proves unfeasible.
- On Valentine’s Day, having successfully maintained my diet, wear the red dress I bought and go see Casablanca (as I always do) at the Brattle Theater.
- Wake up every morning and drink a full glass of water.
- Wash my face every night before bed.
- Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Spend 15 minutes meditating. Spend 10 minutes stretching. Spend 5 minutes doing floor exercises.
- Before my birthday, discover 5 new albums that I love all by different artists.
- Every Wednesday, write one new creative 500-word piece of writing.
- Every Wednesday, write one journal entry reviewing my goals and recording my successes and difficulties in order to maintain my motivation.
- Every Wednesday, clean my bedroom, my living room, and my bathroom. This day is subject to change when I return to school.
The rare moments when I am having a hard time talking about something everything in my body shuts down. I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. I feel myself closing off.
Yesterday I passed out in Adam’s shower and had to call for his help. For a girl who tries incredibly hard to be low-maintenance, I take a lot of effort just to keep alive. I’m tired all the time. My elbows hurts from when I fainted.
Something just doesn’t feel right and I got sick of trying to figure it out so I have just distanced myself from the problem. I don’t have the energy to focus on any emotion other than being happy, I refuse to.
I know everybody thinks new year’s resolutions are stupid but I have a lot of them that I will post about soon. The whole idea is pretty exciting for me. If they go nearly as well as my year-of-happy goals did, I’ll be set.
I know I should stop thinking about you right now but you have wiggled (and nibbled, and moaned) your way into my mind and won’t go away.
In the mean time, I should start putting up some more legitimate writing.
At least for today, for this moment, I have forgotten on the ball. I’m just going to be in love.
1. ATCB and I were in the corner table at the bar we went to on our first date. He stared me dead in the eye (as always) and I didn’t look away for a good minute and a half before he finally says,
“Are you waiting for me to kiss you?”
For future reference, I am always waiting for you to kiss me.
2. I was snooping through the pile of catalogs on ATCB’s dining room table, when I saw the glasses (as in dishes, not eyewear) that Bobby had been looking for since about date three of our relationship. I set down my hot chocolate, shuffled over to ATCB’s bedroom, grabbed my phone, and hit the(as yet unchanged) speed dial 2. Four rings in, I realized what I was doing.
Right as I was about to hang up he picked up.
It was almost 11 o’clock. So I had to tell him that late on a Sunday night I was up thinking about his glassware aspirations. I tried to drop Adam’s name as many times as humanly possible. I am so thick sometimes.
3. Since I am effectively imprisoned in my home for the winter, I now have way to much free time on my hands. I am in the process of cleaning out, reorganizing, redecorating, and fixing up the top floor of my house. Within a 20 minute span I came across my mother’s perfume, a vial of her ashes, a lock of her hair, and a random piece of lined paper with useless notes she had written on it. Cue vociferous sniveling.
4. Last week I decided that it is high time I start dressing the way I have always wanted to. So I began shamelessly ordering dresses online. Tonight I got a phone call from the company I ordered 8 dresses from telling me that one would be out of stock for a few weeks, and asking if I would like to cancel my order or wait. After agreeing to wait the extra time I said,
“So, this is the point in the phone call where I should really be a giant bitch in hopes that you will give me a discount. But I don’t really want to. I could probably make up some story about how I needed that dress for a big party that is now ruined. But, instead I’m just going to ask you to pretend I did that and see if you can give me some sort of fabulous discount. Can you?”
She laughed, and got her manager to give me 40% off the dress.