I learned today that I am looking for a man with RCE, a term my friend just coined. It means “Ritz Carlton Energy”. I’ll explain. This post is a rambling humble-brag and also a thinly veiled excuse to tell a guy he doesn’t text me enough, and I want more attention. Ahem. Cough Cough.

I started casually looking at jobs today, seeing as I will lose my health insurance soon. I forget how hard I have worked, and applying for jobs reminds me only how it was when I first started, clawing by my teeth just to get an interview. I sent out an application for a job at the Ritz Carlton. I won’t get the job, it’s an executive position and gluten is my Kryptonite. So I didn’t waste energy on the cover letter, gave them a few sentences, “I encourage you to view my website” etc. I didn’t even write it in German. Attached a barely formatted CV.

They called me within the hour.

I forget how far I have come.

When I just graduated culinary school I set out for a job fair with my eye on the Ritz Carlton in particular. Did all my due diligence, intense research. I regret not dropping all the company history I still have holstered from the prep I did back then, because I could have sparkled on the phone call. Instead, I was just myself. I was relaxed, I answered honestly. Set boundaries. They asked me what I wanted, told me that they are looking for a longer commitment, that the application process is long but they set clear expectations. They asked if they could see me in a few days, eagerly. I can’t-currently quarantined at home- but I asked if they could email me and said I would follow up, and I had a detailed email waiting for me 15 minutes later.

I called my friend to talk about the day, the good and the bad,  and I whined about inconsistent men. Okay, I whined about a singular inconsistent man. Then I moved on to discuss the Ritz.

“…and as I am saying this I realize that the Ritz Carlton is giving me what I want from him: attention. “

“He doesn’t have that RCE… that Ritz Carlton Energy”

This job won’t happen, but I will go for the initial interview because they treat you like a star. I just wish I could tell young me that one day, the tables would turn and they would be banging on my door. I hope future Alessandra is telling me the same about men. I really hope future Alessandra has better news about men than current me does.

“Bread-crumbing” is the term the kids use for this sort of lackluster behavior, absent all day but he’ll show up with a text at 9 p.m. Maybe being gluten-free has made me more breadcrumb averse. But I am not into it.

So, if you’re reading my blog scanning for information about you, instead of just talking to me, it’s time to realign your priorities. If you want to keep me around, that is.