I hope to spend my life doing something good, something big, but in the meanwhile I am happy to entertain a side project. Maybe good starts small. It might be that my (minor) purpose in life was to hang around for a while and teach you how to love recklessly. Teach you how to make... Continue Reading →

Pleasant Distractions, Part One

Recently my skin has been breaking out. Which makes me anxious. When I am anxious I pick at it. Which makes it worse. It's a vicious cycle, shameful. It's a bad habit I am trying desperately to stop. One technique I use is, when I feel the urge to pick at my skin, I instead... Continue Reading →

A Renaissance Man

We’re back at F’s apartment. Plans were made to go out for the evening, but we got rained on during the walk back from dinner. Allegedly, he is going to change clothes, and then we will go back out into the night to pretend it isn’t almost past my bedtime. It’s going on midnight, and... Continue Reading →

A small treat

On Friday night I had a vivid dream that I called my mother on the phone. The sort of dream that seems so real it takes you a few hours after waking to realize it wasn’t. I have had a lot of dreams about her since she died, but never one so real and so... Continue Reading →

On Walking, On Stumbling.

Loving you was worth it. Even unrequited.You taught me to adore the dirt, too. To commune with the stars. There was that day by the Donau when it rainedWhen the sky was a wrung-out sponge and the whole path turned to mudYou knew I wanted you to kiss me you knew and you turned to... Continue Reading →

A Goodbye Letter

Part One Dear O, Everything I write these days is laced with talk of god, everything is sacred, every word a prayer. I haven’t been to church in forever but I am building cathedrals on the grass most Sundays. I swim until I feel baptized and I gaze into his eyes until I feel like... Continue Reading →

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